Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Day 2: Is this really happening?

Day 2
Slept decent last night, but had some intimacy as well which always helps! Woke up feeling somewhat refreshed and had energy to go downstairs and start working while waiting for the rest of the family to get ready – which hardly ever happens.
Got to work early as I had an 830am meeting to prepare for last minute and I was surprisingly calm / still able to focus on the task at hand.
The call took place and it was an intense one as we were speaking with Mckinsey people who were questioning everything
I don’t know if this is the effect of the medication or placebo or just random occurrence, but I’m liking it.
Post lunch now – almost 2:30pm. Feeling physically down and not sure if it is the medication not working, if I’m jumping back into how I used to be, or if it is just the food. Had a Firecracker Shrimp wrap with some tater tots – rather filling due to friedness and also rather salty. Betting on the food causing me to feel this way. Going to drink a lot of water and hopefully snap out of it.

Could also be related to doing my yearend review where I never think positively about my work and always wonder what else I need to do to become a director here. Rather frustrating.
Night Time:
Drinking normal - Feeling tired but awake - way awake and past my bedtime. I had a normal meal - small pizza and beers (yeah not really normal, but normal when you go out for drinks with your boss).
I am feeling calm - so that is good. Had talk with work boss today and despite having the instance of feeling angry due to his consistent interjections, I remained calm. I spoke my opinion and felt comfortable doing that for the first time in a while.
Fast forward to just past 10:30pm - I'm never up this late. But somehow, I just can't sleep. I have energy - which sucks - I just want to sleep!
Had tough talks with the better half today and it was during "going to bed" - made me question a lot as to what i want to do for real (with regards to a job). 
Need to sleep. Going to bed. 

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