Friday, December 16, 2016

Day 9 - Nature's Turn

Today was interesting and further evidence that I am on the right path.

This morning we had severe snow storm come through. My wife's school was closed, so I left earlish (6am) and started the drive in. Once on the highway, it became a whiteout. I got off on the first exist, spun a bit, went to get back on the highway to go back home, spun on the onramp, missed the actual highway and went down a side road (following the car in front of me), slipped on black ice and nearly had the truck behind me hit me - but kept my cool the entire time.

Stayed at home with the mrs all day and had a few meetings to prepare for which the team knew would be bad. but, again, I kept my anxiety to a minimum and handled the meetings just fine and everything was a success.

But, the true test was at night when my wife was at a school play and I went to make homemade pasta with the pasta maker we just got. First issue, cracked all the eggs into a plate for breading chicken and i need an egg for the pasta. Ok, I got some out and put it in the recipe. I thought i poured everything in at once like the bread machine, but you don't. So, the first time I go to use it, I get an error message. and all the dough got clogged in the disc which molds the pasta. Great. Ok. Get it going again, but it was too dry. So, stop again, add more liquid and start over again. Finally, it worked just fine. Now normally, I would have been cursing and screaming and banging out of frustration why things aren't going my way - now - i'm just calm and collected and work through it all. It turned out fantastic.

It got me thinking on something the psychiatrist told me for a year - so, what? So. What. I never could just let things go - I would dwell so much on them; I would bring it up over and over again. Now, I recognize what's bothering me and solve it - just like i used to do.

I still don't know what triggered all this depression - i think it was a series of events; but I'm glad I've been man enough to recognize it and manage it. If this is a placebo effect - wonderful - I don't really care. I'm really enjoying being back.

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